Nothing is certain but newsletters and taxes

The bad news: the property tax bill arrived yesterday. The good news: the tax man was nice enough to include some interesting tidbits along with the tab. For instance:

- Your tax dollars sent a group of Stamford police officers to Israel for counter-terrorism training. Take that, terrorists who missed the 295 exit.

- West Hill High School and West Beach got new fields made of fake grass. In the same newsletter, we learn that “Stamford has over thirteen acres of green roofs.” In other words, the city promotes hot fake plastic fields and cool natural green rooftops.

- About 90% of the government’s revenue comes from taxes and about 56% of that money goes to fund the board of education. I’m all for supporting education, but that number is ginormous. On behalf of the childless couples, I want a coffee mug or a bumper sticker that says “Tell your honor student ‘you’re welcome.’”