Ah, there's the rub

I have a friend who swears that the first time she got a massage, although she thought it was a little odd, she figured it was just "the way it was done" when they extended the manual attention to her special lady parts. For those of you who are a bit more spa-savvy, you won't need me to explain that nether region touching is generally off the menu. You probably also won't need me to tell you that my friend received her fancy handshake in NYC, but could the same have happened in our lil' ol' backyard?

The Advocate reports that five Stamford spas have appealed the health department's order closing them down last August for failure to operate with a license. No unlawful behavior has been observed, but the article quotes Health Director Johnnie Lee as saying "If there are lots of young Asian woman working in the establishment and they say they are not doing massage, it has not been made clear what they are doing." The article goes on to quote attorney Mark Katz as saying "The health department has drawn conclusions from furniture and other accoutrements in a quote-unquote 'massage establishment.'" Apart from the fact that you have to love an article that writes quote-unquote right before it puts a phrase in a quote and an unquote, I'm dying to get a look at the aforementioned furniture and accoutrements. Can you pick those up at Crate and Barrel? Pottery Barn?