Eulogy for First Alive@5

I remember the First Alive@5 from her early hours. A personality so big, it took a parking lot of cop cars and an acre of crowd control mesh just to contain her. She was beloved by all, from the tubby type bragging about his bench press to the plus sized gal in the mini sized dress. She was a stickler for the rules with a one-drink-per-customer requirement and a lengthy line to buy tiny tickets. Still, we loved her sense of adventure, exploring Maui Wowi fruit drinks and new fangled “Yumnuts.” Rumor has it that her interests included treats like spanikopita and fried ravioli, but her many admirers kept her too busy to welcome all her line-averse fans. Such is the life of the popular girl. She was safety-minded, and with her, you were never far from the watchful eye of law enforcement. She was forgiving – she wasn’t offended or upset when her friends preferred her Rolling Rock to her Rock and Roll. Even when her acquaintances got irritated with her, they couldn’t help but rally around her energy and community spirit. Although her fresh faced cousin will take her place shortly, we will always remember First Alive@5 as a lively lady who made us glad to know her even when we had to hold her hair and call her a cab.